Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I got nothing and Don't live by the Lake!

I got nothing, no really. I've been in a bad mood all week. It seems everyone around me keeps getting bad news. So I'm all WHAT THE FUCK! Everythings fine in my house, but I just hate good people having to go through bad times. I got a free Starbucks card and ate my own weight in asparagus, so really I have nothing to complain about myself. And yet I still do....So the other night we went to Starbucks, and I started talking to my Pumpkin Spice Latte.
Me-Oh Pumpkin Spice Latte, how I love you so.
Jay-Don't listen to her, she would dump you in a minute for an Egg Nog Latte.
Me-(covering the latte with my hand)Shhhhhhhh
Jay- You know that Latte doesn't have ears right?
Me- Dirty look-
Jay- You are crazy....
I've cut back on caffeine lately. So I'm thinking when I do drink it, it makes me a little crazy. Or it could be genetics.

OMG! So some freaks tried to kidnap some girls close to my sisters house. As Jay is trying to tell my sister the details and to be careful. My Mom keeps yelling "IT'S BECAUSE OF THE LAKE,IT'S BECAUSE OF THE LAKE!". Apparently sex offenders love the lake! A fact I didn't know. Oh and beware of friendly people. Thanks Mom!

P.S. My sister in no way lives close to a lake...And I'm pretty sure its genetics....


Oh Pumpkin Spice Latte, How I Love You So!!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Big Ass Creepy Birds and what happen at the Halloween Store...

I was at Target with Wynette the other day, when her SUV was attacked by Big Ass Creepy birds!! I HATE THEM! It was one of those I only need "five minutes" so I said I'll stay in the car. Ok, first If Wynette ever says it will only be five minutes she's lying. As I was sitting there I started hearing a strange noise like something was trying to rip the roof off. It was super creepy, because at first I had no idea what was going on. I thought someone was trying to crawl in the back door. Till I saw the Big Ass Birds in the reflection of the cars parked next to me. I started to bang on the roof only to have more Big Ass Creepy Birds join the two already there. And then one landed on the mirror to stare at me. And in that moment all I could think was ZOMBIE BIRDS!!! Yes, I was thinking it must be zombie birds waiting for me to get out of the car so they could eat my brains. I know it is an irrational fear, but if these big Ass Creepy Birds where Zombies how would anyone know? They have really creepy zombie eyes and they tilt their head in that "I'm going to eat your brains" way.
I sent Wynette a text to let her know I was being attacked in her car by Big Ass Creepy Zombie Birds and she didn't reply, but finally came back forty-five minutes later. Needless to say the Big Ass Creepy Zombie Birds didn't attack her, but I'm pretty sure they followed us home.

Went to the Halloween store with Riley, who is afraid of everything! All he could say was Oh no,Oh no scary, scary! My nephews think I'm mean (who knows why) So I told Riley "you know I'm mean so I won't let anything get you right?" he was still reluctant but he went in anyway.
Riley- That ones not so scary.
Me- Which one?
Riley- The man. (and pointed to a Obama mask)
Me- Riley thats the president,its the scariest one of all!!
Riley- What?
Everyone around us - laughter...

P.S. Big Ass Creepy Zombie Birds ruin "The meet at the water tower plan" to avoid Zombies. I now have to come up with a new plan, to incorporate flying Zombies.....Damn you Big Ass Creepy Zombie Birds!!!

Big Ass Creepy Bird